The term 'Repression' is used by psychologists to describe the procedure in which we unconsciously, or subconsciously prevent ourselves from recalling particular past memories, which might cause us anxiety. In layman's term, forgetting what gives us trouble while thinking it. For example, a child sexually abused, may just compel her mind to prevent these thoughts to come to her mind because it makes her feel dirty. But these thoughts have their own way of coming out. For example, the same girl may start to think of sexual activity to be dirty, even after growing up.
no, i am not here to tell you about the clinical, psychological and all other possible explanations. I am here to share with you an incident where I had to come in terms with my 'repressed thoughts'.
It was just the beginning of my career and i was on the process of being dumped by my boy friend(lets call him Rox. I had repressed all the thoughts related to this incident and tried to focus on my career, as if nothing had ever happened. In middle of all these, an acquaintance told me i need to meet a girl and counsel her for depression. I agreed. But as i met the girl (we are not supposed to use her name so lets call her Ita.!!), i realised there was something that this girl had to do with my ex. Wanted to ignore the scene. So, i said, i was busy. But every now and then she took my appointment. Finally, i thought if I had been trained to keep my personal life away from my professional life, why should i avoid anything. And I met her and found out, I was not trained enough!!!
Ita looked at me intensely, as I approached her, trying to think hard perhaps about what I am thinking, because, as a matter of fact, i was aware that she knew my ex. After the initial effort of rapport building (trust me, it was too difficult this time), I asked, "So, Ita, your friend tells me you are upset about something, if you don't mind, can you please tell me about it?"
lots of sighs and hesitations. Finally, she broke down, "I know he doesn't love me, but I do! I love him since the last 5 years. I could never tell him but i could understand, he knows. But now all that is over. I don't feel like doing anything anymore. What should i do?"
oh silly girl!!! Stop wasting my time with your puppy-love-stories!!! Grow up!!!
"how do you feel about the incident? can you name those emotions?", I was trained to say these!
"Frustrated, angry, depressed, feel like running away", she replied with another roll of tears.
that's what i am exactly feeling right now!
"ok, i understand how you feel. Can you tell me What had happened exactly?"
She burst out into tears again and mumbled, "Perhaps you are aware, since you are his friend, I love Rox..."
WHAAAAAT?????WHAAAAT???.... Alright, he is an attractive man... it's ok. Focus on her story.
"But I know I was not good enough for him. But he had never misbehaved with me. He always received my calls. He would take me to places. Guide me with my career all the time..."
and where was i all that time??? We were dating each other but had kept it to ourselves but he spoke to her???? When??? How come I never got to know about it....FOCUS!!!
"But recently oneday, he just left without telling me anything and did not speak to me after that." and she weeped like a child. This sounds familiar.... perhaps one of my repressed memories. I know exactly how she feels but i had never shed a tear.But stupidly enough, I was possessive of his memories too. If somebody should cry for Rox, it would be just me!!!I was his gf!!! Come on!! I guess I should slap her before she starts calling out his name.
I did not say a word. She kept crying for the next half an hour. I consoled her as much as i could. how disgusting things can be.....I am consoling this weeny stupid girl about my boy friend!!!And all i can say is...I UNDERSTAND!!!
She uttered with the gloomy voice,"He is with somebody else now. I feel as if a part of me is dying..."
He is with somebody else? i couldn't or didn't hear what she had to say after that. Things had stopped making any sense at all.... I always thought I was the one and as people say, you let the bird go, if it comes back it was yours, and if it doesn't...... I thought it would.
She left saying 'thank you' and said she felt much better after sharing. Later I came to know she overcame all that and moved on with some other guy.
But now I was thinking....all the repressed thoughts.What had happened and how and didn't this mean anything to him? How come he stopped me from meeting my friends and was constantly in touch with his, in a secretive way...???.....Those were like open wounds now...had to deal with them.How do I feel about it? --- Frustrated, angry, depressed, feel like running away...
no, i am not here to tell you about the clinical, psychological and all other possible explanations. I am here to share with you an incident where I had to come in terms with my 'repressed thoughts'.
It was just the beginning of my career and i was on the process of being dumped by my boy friend(lets call him Rox. I had repressed all the thoughts related to this incident and tried to focus on my career, as if nothing had ever happened. In middle of all these, an acquaintance told me i need to meet a girl and counsel her for depression. I agreed. But as i met the girl (we are not supposed to use her name so lets call her Ita.!!), i realised there was something that this girl had to do with my ex. Wanted to ignore the scene. So, i said, i was busy. But every now and then she took my appointment. Finally, i thought if I had been trained to keep my personal life away from my professional life, why should i avoid anything. And I met her and found out, I was not trained enough!!!
Ita looked at me intensely, as I approached her, trying to think hard perhaps about what I am thinking, because, as a matter of fact, i was aware that she knew my ex. After the initial effort of rapport building (trust me, it was too difficult this time), I asked, "So, Ita, your friend tells me you are upset about something, if you don't mind, can you please tell me about it?"
lots of sighs and hesitations. Finally, she broke down, "I know he doesn't love me, but I do! I love him since the last 5 years. I could never tell him but i could understand, he knows. But now all that is over. I don't feel like doing anything anymore. What should i do?"
oh silly girl!!! Stop wasting my time with your puppy-love-stories!!! Grow up!!!
"how do you feel about the incident? can you name those emotions?", I was trained to say these!
"Frustrated, angry, depressed, feel like running away", she replied with another roll of tears.
that's what i am exactly feeling right now!
"ok, i understand how you feel. Can you tell me What had happened exactly?"
She burst out into tears again and mumbled, "Perhaps you are aware, since you are his friend, I love Rox..."
WHAAAAAT?????WHAAAAT???.... Alright, he is an attractive man... it's ok. Focus on her story.
"But I know I was not good enough for him. But he had never misbehaved with me. He always received my calls. He would take me to places. Guide me with my career all the time..."
and where was i all that time??? We were dating each other but had kept it to ourselves but he spoke to her???? When??? How come I never got to know about it....FOCUS!!!
"But recently oneday, he just left without telling me anything and did not speak to me after that." and she weeped like a child. This sounds familiar.... perhaps one of my repressed memories. I know exactly how she feels but i had never shed a tear.But stupidly enough, I was possessive of his memories too. If somebody should cry for Rox, it would be just me!!!I was his gf!!! Come on!! I guess I should slap her before she starts calling out his name.
I did not say a word. She kept crying for the next half an hour. I consoled her as much as i could. how disgusting things can be.....I am consoling this weeny stupid girl about my boy friend!!!And all i can say is...I UNDERSTAND!!!
She uttered with the gloomy voice,"He is with somebody else now. I feel as if a part of me is dying..."
He is with somebody else? i couldn't or didn't hear what she had to say after that. Things had stopped making any sense at all.... I always thought I was the one and as people say, you let the bird go, if it comes back it was yours, and if it doesn't...... I thought it would.
She left saying 'thank you' and said she felt much better after sharing. Later I came to know she overcame all that and moved on with some other guy.
But now I was thinking....all the repressed thoughts.What had happened and how and didn't this mean anything to him? How come he stopped me from meeting my friends and was constantly in touch with his, in a secretive way...???.....Those were like open wounds now...had to deal with them.How do I feel about it? --- Frustrated, angry, depressed, feel like running away...
